This day could not be shittier

Today is Sunday, the beginning of the week here in Egypt started off as any usual day. I woke up, tired after the weekend, I dressed and went to work. I wasn’t expecting much work today as I finished all what I had to do on Thursday cause I like to keep my Sundays as laid back as possible. 

 

So My boss hits me with loads of shit that he wants finished by the end of the day, and I start getting pissed off. I snap at around 4 P.M when I started banging on my desk. I hit my calculator with my fist breaking it then I throw away, exactly like a mad man. I was so pissed off that I didn’t really care that this side of me should’nt come out at work. My pregnant coworker decided to take today off, she called our boss and told him she was sick. Of course he couldn’t say a word because she is pregnant, and him being a decent man can’t really ask a pregnant woman to work! Idiots. So anyways, I called my coworker to ask her about her pc’s password and she tells me that she is not really sick but she didn’t feel like coming to work today. Did I snap at her? Did I tell that she practically screwed me today just because she didn’t fancy to get out of her cute little house? No  I didn’t, I just smiled and told her with all the sincerity in the world that it was OK, I even joked a bit with her so that she won’t feel awkward. How cute am I?

SO, my coworker fucks up my day and I don’t even show the slightest dissatisfaction to her. I just bottle it up inside and take it out on my calculator or on my retreating bottom tooth with my tongue that is close to developing an ulcer from brushing on this retreating tooth. 

Ok I mange to get this shit day out of my way and get home at around 9 P.M. totally exhausted,  so tired I can’t even open my eyes fully. I play nice music on my laptop, some really good stuff by some local bands, I lie down on my bed for a bit. Mama makes some food for me, I get up play an episode of Becker, my second favourite comedy show after Seinfeld of course. I watch and eat perfectly enjoying my time, the perfect thing to do after a day like this. 

I go out in the balcony to smoke a cig……tastes really nice, the weather determines the quality of each cig. If it’s breezy and warm with a buzz of cold, the cigarette gives me the ultimate satisfaction smoke can provide. Anyways, I go inside once more, to check my email and my facebook, that stupid thing I wish it disappears completely.

So I open FB and I find my ex who deleted me from her friends list and who jumped into bed with another dude 2 month after we broke up, I find that she commented on a stupid “25 facts about me”  note that was written by another girl whom I really despise. I also find my best friend commenting abt that note and you know, its a fukin fest and everybody is having a ball and I feel my stomach asking permission to go the wrong way. I was so pissed off I uttered some cuss words such as “Fuck u, u dirty whore” directed at my ex, and “Burn in hell u fat bastard” directed at my best friend and “I will kill u then throw u in the gutters” directed at that girl I despise. This note pisses me off more because that girl I despise is the fakest person I’ve ever seen, along with my ex, she makes a big deal about stupid details of her life like “I like make up” or she “likes green tee” and random stupid shit like that. 

So here I am, its 1 a.m., I’m lying on the bed, with my laptop on my stomach, writing about an extremely shitty day, thinking about waking up at 7 the tomorrow and feeling like shit.

anyways, this was too long and it is not edited at all, I ll edit it later. Salam for now.

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In za middle of za street

Imagine walking down the street and actually seeing this

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Only in the Middle East

You go into a war, 1300 of your people die, 5000 are wounded, 22,000 buildings are destroyed, you incurr losses of almost $2 billion, you manage to  kill 13 of the enemy’s soldiers and YOU CLAIM VICTORY!!

I think the leaders of Hamas should be publicly tortured— then executed.

Ohh noo

I was never a big fan of skinny girls, I never really got the point behind everyone wanting to lose weight to be sexier. I couldn’t understand the simple equation of skinny = sexy. Its not like I’m more attracted to fat or chubby girls, no, I’ve always loved a girl with a nice figure, the curvier the better, no one can deny. Well, I said I did not see the point of sexy skinniness, but I guess I do now.

My ex-girlfriend was a kind of girl that would not shut up about weight and how she wants and manages to lose weight. She would starve herself for days , surviving only on orange juice and cigarettes. The poor thing thought she would have the body of Cameron Diaz if she lost enough weight!! “I’m tall and I have wide bones, just like her!” she once said to me when we were watching “What happens in Vegas”. My ex had a nice body, but she was no Cameron Diaz, no Cameron Diaz at all.

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So anyhow, what moves me to write a post about that now?!! I was checking facebook and I found this girl I used to  make out with. Well, she is as skinny as they come, with all the right curves everywhere and the innocence mixed with the whorness that evey man admires! 

Holding a girl and feeling her bones at your hands is quite arousing, don’t know why exactly, maybe because you feel completely dominating and poweful….not sure, I have to find another bony girl here in Egypt which is quite a difficult task given our ma7shy loving culture!

Invisibles

Yesterday I watched a spanish movie called “Invisibles”, it was showing in the Cairo International Film Festival. The film is produced by Oscar award winner, Javier Bardem, you know, that killer guy from “No Country for Old Men”. invisibles2

Directed by 5 directors, the movie plays for around and hour and a half, and it consists of 5 mini movies/Documentary-like segments. It takes place in different parts of the world, displaying different disasters/miseries happening to residents of those areas. It starts off with Bolivia, then the Democratic Republic of Congo, Uganda, the Central African Republic and lastly, Colombia.

The movies tells stories of rape, children soldiers, war, disease, displacement all covered with other unpleasant themes, such as poverty, cruelnees, greed…etc. People to whom those things are happening to are deemed to be “invisible”; no one could see them, not governments, not large pharmaceuticals, no one with actual power rather than those struggling NGO’s that don’t have the necessary resources to help.

It goes without saying that the movie was incredibly depressing, it wasn’t what I had in mind for a thursday night movie, but It brought several things to my attention.

  • Egypt is a nice country. We don’t get raped, we don’t have epidemic diseases, no civil war….we have water food and security. Despite the many shortcomings of this country, compared to those examples, it is god’s heaven on his earth!!
  • Oscar Wilde once said, “Thank God life in Unfair”. Of course! I didn’t anything do anything special in my life to be where I am now. I simply walked my natural course and here I am, enjoying an easy, comfortable, safe life, while others are simply unlucky so they were born in a Central Africa or Uganda.
  • Black people in all western countries should be thankful their ancestors were captured as slaves 2 centuries ago. It is ironical, but couldn’t be truer. Just imagine Oprah Winfrey getting raped by 4 Mau Mau rebels after they killed her husband in front of her & her children. Imagine Michael Jordan invisiblesKidnapped and forced to carry a gun at the age of 11 and forced to kill his own brother beacuase that latter attempeted to escape the camp. Imagine Condoleezza rice getting the Sleeping Sickness form the Tsi Tsi fly, and being not able to get the medecine because large pharmaceuticals won’t produce a medecine that will only be consumed by people who can’t pay for it.
    This concludes one thing: While slavery was a terrible thing, the grandchildren of those africans enslaved are exteremly lucky.
  • This movie reassured my conviction about the unfairness of life, the impossiblity of a the existence of GOD. On the other hand, my dispise for capitalism, which i proudly believe in, has increased dramatically. I can understand if the lazy, the stupid and the genetically unlucky is thrown out of the system mercilessly. But what about those people, who don’t have the choice in anything. Those people might have the best ability for work, production and creation but they are not given even the smallest chance to grab. Governments and big companies are not paying the slightest attention to them, not that they are obliged, but it is extremely cruel.

Will I ever hit a girl?

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An obvious answer is no, of course not, hit a female, this nice, cute, delicate, delightful, beautiful creature, no way, only a savage would do such a thing, only a barbarian, a terrorist, a nazi would even consider doing such a thing. Right?! NO, I don’t think so.

OK, lets get something out of the way first; I am not a violent man, I haven’t gotten into a real fight since high school. I am a bit sharp tempered, but most of the times I can control that temper and bottle it inside  (for later usage in nervous break downs and frenzies!). So what makes me a propagator for inter-sexes violence?

If a guy is an asshole, and pushes my buttons in the right (wrong) way, I would definitely cuss the hell out if him and If cussing doesn’t give me enough satisfaction, I’d kick his ass so hard that its gonna hurt when he shits. Well, again, don’t get me wrong, I am not a big guy, I don’t have lots of muscles, I actually weigh around 125 pounds (around 60 KG), so I am not a guy who’s keen on fighting, but you know, a Man’s gotta do what it takes sometimes!

Anyways, the point I’m trying to make is that, I don’t see that a girl is different from a guy. If she messes up and deserves some good ol’cussing or beating, then she shall receive such beating. Having a pussy is not an excuse for assholness, bitchiness and/or annoyance (I know that those might not be words, but who gives a fuck). If a girl is weak, then she shouldn’t put herself in a situation where a beating is a necessity, if she chooses to be a prick then she should take it like any other male prick would take. There is absolutely no reason that stops me from hitting a woman that hits me. It is simple, if  you can’t take a hit, don’t start hitting stronger more violent humans (men or lesbians :P). I respect women, love them & appreciate them, but I just hate them always asking for a free lunch.

And I hate political correctness and social decency.

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Ok, u have to admit this is funny, sick, but funny!

A Kramer among us!

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A friend of mine tricked me into believing that he had invitations for the closing ceremony of the Cairo international film festival. I actually believed the guy and started telling people that I may attend the ceremony and how cool it would be to hang out with all the stars and what not. Actually I m amazed that I fell for it, as it is usually me and this kid playing tricks on people and not the other way around. I guess that its hard to always keep the gaurds of your mind attentive. Things have to slip.

This guy is called Miro, and he is insane. Remember Kramer from Seinfeld? This is the Egyptian version of him. He is tall and completely out of this world. We would be laughing at things he does or says while he has no clue about what is funny. He drives without looking at the road, he says things to random people on the street, and he has sex with street prostitutes with whom he is very popular. This guy didn’t drink, but one day he got drunk and he really enjoyed it. So he would call every day wanting to go out and drink, like a new sport. He smokes shisha daily and does whatever random activities one might think of. I remember the first day I met this guy, it was back in 2006 during the world cup, and he had an electrified pen that my other friend was excited about trying it on his ass. Then we were bored so he suggested going tease street prostitutes, but that’s another story.
Anyways, the guy is a wacko, but I totally enjoy hanging out with him.